Any marriage will have its troubles. And it is how you deal with your difficulties that can separate marriages that survive from those that lead to failure. One of the biggest errors anyone can make is to paint themselves as a victim. A marriage conflict is never one-sided. Most likely you had just as much input in it as your spouse.
12/15/2011 Seattle, WA – Mary Winslow has been married for decades or so. “It’s quite simple to make yourself out to be the victim. I know mainly because I did it myself. It felt like I was always the one that was being disadvantaged. I became always the one that was hurt, the one that was being taken for granted. I never thought that it was the other way round. I became wrong, I understand that now. I also understand that marriage is a give and take, it isn’t always about you.” Winslow also advises a visit to the internet site – http://www.savemymarriagetoday.com/.
Playing victim is one of the most typical mistakes people make. This can show up itself in a number of ways. For some people, it will likely be feeling remorseful for themselves. Additionally, it may come as the feeling of being assaulted or targeted. These feelings can be quite counter productive since instead of working towards finding a solution, you will be focusing on your negative feelings instead. It could also be what leads to bigger problems just like having an unhappy marriage. It might also result in divorce, if you are not careful.
Take yourself out of the ‘victim’ snare. You have to recognize that whatever problem you are in is of your own making. It is entirely your choice if you wish to get out or if you want to stay. It defintely won’t be helpful if you keep on pulling the ‘poor me’ card. In fact, it can make things worse. It isn’t going to get you closer to a solution. As an alternative to going into a self pity mode, you must just try to work towards things the best way that you can, especially when you have a less than happy marriage.
It is also vital that you learn how to be assertive, Know what you would want from your relationship and be assertive with it. You have to find something that actually works for both of you. As soon as you see that there is something wrong, make sure that you work on it as soon as you can. You should never let it get to that point where you have a loveless marriage.
With each individual rule, there’s an exception. If your companion hurts you actually, there is no room for argument, you are absolutely the victim. But, keep in mind that you are not helpless. You have the power to affect the situation. You have to make things better for yourself. Find a solution to the difficulties you are in and hope you find marital bliss.