Article by Ross McCollum
ORDER This PROVEN PROCESS to SAVE Your MARRIAGE!
Many marriages gradually dissolve into long hours at work for him and long hours at home for her in meeting the needs of their children. She begins to feel that he is married more to his job than to her.She is unsure if he is really interested in her or if it is simply his desire to provide strong financial support for his family that drives him to work such long hours. He feels that she may have lost interest in him because she obviously takes him for granted.
This marriage is in big trouble. If it can be saved, then there is a process to be followed which will be very helpful.
First, the couple must decide if they truly wish to save the marriage. Both parties must decide that they wish to save the marriage because if one partner has made the decision to end it, then there is not much to pursue. People often remain in a marriage to preserve their comfort zone, for financial reasons, or because of their children. However, both partners must show a true commitment if they have agreed that the marriage is to be saved.
Next, the couple must pinpoint the actual reason or reasons that the relationship is failing. At times, the couple believes that the symptom of the problem is the problem itself.
For example, many believe that infidelity is a problem which ruins marriages. However, infidelity is a symptom of a more specific problem, the lack of intimacy that provides fulfillment. Then you have a spouse looking elsewhere for intimacy. The mandatory action to be taken now is in dealing with improving their relationship regarding intimacy.
Again, the infidelity is the symptom with the lack of satisfying intimacy being the actual problem.
Now that the problem has been identified, it is time to address the problem. This is where both parties discuss it verbally and listen carefully to each others thoughts. These are sensitive moments so it might be wise to hold hands to indicate the desire to reunite because the emotions are certainly at a high just now. There will be dialogue that is hurtful and painful for both parties. Remember, the reason you are talking with your partner is to solve a problem that could easily end your marriage. This is serious and is not supposed to be a walk in the park. So, the critical comments are not to inflict pain, but rather to improve the relationship.
Once you detail the specific problems in your marriage, create a plan of actions for the resolution of the problems. For example, if time not spent together is the problem, then schedule a “date night” each week, taking turns creating interesting activities for these evenings together. If a lack of genuine communication has been the problem, schedule a time to just “visit” and talk about things, perhaps half an hour before going to bed, or whenever it is convenient. Be sure to commit to following through with it. Remember, whatever is said, be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
You have read only a small portion of a proven process of saving any type of relationship. If you are experiencing problems in your relationship, or have an interest in improving and broadening your relationship, you owe it to yourself to read “The Magic of Making Up.” It is a simple, easy to follow, step by step publication authored by T. ‘Dub’ Jackson, credited with salvaging many relationships which otherwise would not have survived. Whether it is a minor problem in a dating situation, or a serious marital dilemma, “The Magic of Making Up” will work its own “magic” in improving your relationship.
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About the Author
Ross McCollum has been a participant in relationships as well as having read much on the subject. He has provided counseling and support for numerous individuals in this regard.